Yesterday I started a ballroom dance (Standardtanz) class.... with 20 eighth-graders...and my 17 year-old boyfriend.
I'm not going to lie, as I walked into the classroom, my very first thought was "F***, what did I sign us up for? Why was I so damn set on taking a Standardtanz class??" Fast backwards to 20 minutes beforehand, when my boyfriend's exact words were (in German), "I'd rather put a nail through my finger or take an ice cold shower than go to this dance class." This is a very inaccurate representation of his normal demeanor, so you can tell that dancing in front of people is not really his thing. My (super friendly) response went a little like, "Shut up, I actually don't care if you want to take this class. Get on your bike, we are leaving now." Honestly, I had my own doubts: I knew that people normally take ballroom dancing classes in Germany as a teen when they are in the 10th grade or younger. We'd also already attempted to do a dance class earlier on, but ended up being the only people there... Referred to by my boyfriend as a "sign from fate that we should not try again." Ah yes.
So when we walked into the room and saw a group of kids who were all 3 to 4 years younger than us, not to mention a dance instructor with a microphone as seen in '90's music videos, I was pretty much ready to admit to him that he was absolutely right. But then I realized something that has occurred to me many times throughout my exchange year: I don't know a single one of these people, therefore it is completely irrelevant if I look like a fool who missed the boat. On a dance class, on bike riding, on expressing myself in German, on almost anything. So I guess the first thing that this anecdote reminded me of was the empowering feeling of trying something out, being reminded that you perhaps look like an idiot, and then realizing that you actually don't care. I wanted to do a ballroom dance class because it is a big part of the northern German party and get-together culture. 14-year olds or no 14-year olds, this was a goal of mine which I wanted to get accomplished.
The second thing this dance class reminded me of was the incredible feeling of being pleasantly surprised. After the initial stage of slight embarrassment, the class was one of the most entertaining and fun things I have done in a while. The other students were extremely mature, the teacher was very effective and fair, as she gave us the first 2 hour lesson as a trial to see if we wanted to come back and pay the tuition fee next time, and we ended up having to dance and interact with everyone else to get a feeling for different people and dance styles. Now, I can't say that I received a whole lot of eye contact from the other guys, but they were all super polite and caught on very quickly. We took a break in the middle, where we were escorted back to our seats by our partners. The boys had to pay for drinks this week; next week is the girls' turn. I thought this was a fun way of integrating the cultural aspects of Standardtanz, rather than just showing us a few moves.
This isn't the only time I've been pleasantly surprised during my exchange year. A stereotype about northern Germans is that they are cold and unfriendly if you haven't know them for ages. I'd say, as most foreign visitors have said time and time again, that this is as far from the truth as possible. For example, the man who sells us pizza every Friday for English club chats jovially with my friend and I, giving us lollipops and saying "Bis morgen" every time we leave, as though he would genuinely be excited if we came in the next day. The lady at the bakery next to our school gave me a free brownie the other day just for the hell of it, even though they normally cost 2 Euros. Bakery ladies in Westerstede are in general my favorite because they joke around with customers and are in general super lovely. Plus baked goods... Donuts... Bread... Yeah, you get the idea. What these examples prove is that the Germans are actually extremely devoted to their customers and friendly in a much less sicky-sweet way. Moreover, every time I experience something like this, I realize more and more what an open attitude and positivity bring. These things allow us to sort of "get high" off the feeling of exploring the good in people and in turn to become better humans who wish to make other people happy.
So when my boyfriend admitted, more than once after the class was over, that it was a wonderful idea of mine, I, of course, played it cool and told him "But of course." But we all know that I myself was happily surprised, which gave me a renewed dose of the feeling that I've really gained an appreciation for this year. And that is the simple awesomeness of trying something new, meeting new people, and learning new things without having to read 50 pages of a dry textbook. Simply by dancing with 8th graders, making not-so-small talk, and overall appreciating the little things.
How's that for sounding like a life coach? I hope I managed to tone down the inspirational thoughts of a 16 year old with a bit of humor and insight into the life of an exchange student. I have shamed myself many times over for not posting since Christmas (that's an eternity, I know) but have been "unterwegs" (on the road) a lot with traveling and also writing a 15 page paper in German... Excuses, excuses. I will give the hopefully not-empty promise to update more in the final 76 days I have here in Deutschland. Feel free to comment on what you'd like to hear from me!
Till then,
Hannah
